PERSONAL FINANCE IS GROSS

Hello!

I lied.

Last issue I said I’d get into how Annaleigh and I built a crazy set for $1, but I would like to talk about money instead.

On the spectrum of how people talk about money, everything feels hopeless. On one end, the personal finance truthers like Dave Ramsey say your money problems are your own fault and with the right budgeting, you can bootstrap yourself out of any situation. And on the other end is your unemployed friend whose parents pay their rent sharing a graphic to their story that’s like “the system is set up against you to go into credit card debt.” And it’s like righhhhht, maybe not you specifically though. 

Personal finance is gross <3 Most people who claim to be an expert are just trying to get you to take their class. Don’t pay for financial advice and don’t pay for an MFA. But listen to me, a girl who believes you can invest in your future and acknowledge that corporations would drain your plasma if they could profit off of it… oh damn they are already doing that.

Ok, here’s the three pronged approach that helped me get my finances in order and I hope it helps you. If you don’t know me that well: I have a job, I don’t own a house, I don’t have kids, I live with my boyfriend who is also employed, and most of my expendable income goes to putting on shows and buying sewing supplies.

I know some people have extenuating circumstances so if at any point you get frustrated with me and think I’m being tone deaf, you’re probably right.

Talk to your friends

I can't stop having three beers at Cafe Mustache and asking everyone’s salary. I just want to know.

But aside from being nosy, everyone should know their friends’ and collaborators' financial situations, especially since everything is so expensive. I have always lived by the rule that if you make the most money in your friend group (that includes family money), you should be picking up the tab every once in a while. And if you disagree with me you are cheap and you hate community.

Every time I read one of those articles in The Cut that are like “I went into $20,000 of debt going to bachelorette parties” I’m like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. We have to start being honest with our friends about what we can and can’t afford. And baby, despite what you feel in your bones, the middle class has been hollowed out for a long time. I’m not just saying that you have to turn down trips or dinner plans, you also need to be honest about the cost of your time. 

After years of overbooking myself and losing money on Ubers home from the Annoyance, 2025 is the year I only say yes to projects that either 1) pay me enough to cover the cost of supplies or 2) stuff that genuinely sounds fun to me. No shade to unpaid shows, I am the queen of calling in favors and asking my friends to learn choreography for free, but you have to be realistic about what you need. And sometimes that’s declining a midnight show that is neither paid nor fun for you.

Track your spending, I know it hurts

I used to tear through budgeting apps and get so frustrated when they alerted me that I went over my dining out spending. Like yeah, we sprung for a pitcher of margaritas of course I blew through that $40 weekly limit. But one day in 2022, when I was sitting on my couch, hungover, transferring money to my checking account so I wouldn’t overdraft on rent, I was like fuuuuuck I have to do something different here.

You don’t need anything fancy. For one month I tracked every single thing (without judgement) I bought in my notes app. I put everything in loose categories like recreation, travel, food, health, recurring bills, and rent. If you choose to do this you will feel ill. It will make you sick to see how much you spend on frivolous and necessary items, but I promise it will be worth it. Then at the end of the month I built a realistic budget around those numbers and over the next six months I tried to reel in my non-essential spending.

• This tracking made me realize that I was simply not making enough money to live my life, it wasn’t just the margaritas! It forced me to actually negotiate for a higher salary and tell my parents straight up I could not afford to come home for Christmas!

• Is that bleak? Yes! But also it’s kinda awesome to not go home for Christmas!

I did the same thing when I started tracking show spending. It was…really hard to see how much I was spending on fur trim and sequins, but again, it is worth it. Knowing how much you are spending on your art forces you to be realistic about projects you say yes to. Plus, if a wealthy benefactor who loves freaks asks to sponsor your next show, you can give them a number $$$$.

You can also write all of that show stuff off next year on your taxes. I am not a tax professional so please cross check all of this, but last year I tracked my show spending and scored myself a fat $800 tax refund for the first time in my life. (it went right back to paying off my credit card but STILL)

Quick note about writing stuff off:

• You don’t have to be an LLC to write stuff off, but if you’re already running your creative projects like a business you should fill out the paperwork through your Secretary of State to become one. 

• Then you can get a business bank account/credit card and keeping all the finances separate is actually such a game changer.

• What kind of stuff can you write off? Babe, everything. Supplies, mileage, fixing your sewing machine, studio rental, some of your PHONE BILL, buying pizza for the cast during a long rehearsal, etc.

• I found an amazing accountant this year, but the most helpful thing I did was take a class on how to file a Schedule C (the form you have to fill out to write stuff off) through Triangle Art Works. They don’t have any workshops right now but they probably will come tax season.

A place to start. Here’s a semi-blank template you can use to track your personal finances and your show/creative project expenses. It's pretty bare bones, but It’s how I track my stuff because I like to manually enter everything so I know exactly where my money is going. But if it works for you, just File > Make a copy.

Investing is everywhere if you are just willing to see it

The biggest barrier for me to start saving money was that I actually did not care even a little bit about buying stocks or doing any of the traditional investing stuff that everyone was telling me to do. And this is going to be the corniest shit on the planet, but investing in your community is just as valid as investing elsewhere.

Investing can mean fronting the cost of a giant DIY theater production so your friends can do a cunty little dance, or donating to someone’s kickstarter to make an album, or just paying for someone’s Uber home from rehearsal!!! Investing in the art you and your friends make is investing and honestly it's way better for the world than some dumb Roth IRA.

When I first moved to Chicago, I had a lot of teachers warn me that I should never spend my own money on my shows. And I’d like to amend that, because no, you should not lock yourself into weird contracts with Second City that makes you pay them if you don’t sell out or whatever the heck. But it is such a joy to pay my friends to design a poster or take a promo photoshoot.

So pull out your 401(k)s and put on the best damn show this town has ever seen!!! 

Jk, or idk. Maybe if it’s a really good show. Like with a big finale.

What’s in, what’s out, what’s happening:

• If you’re not sick of finance talk, this thoughtful piece on credit card debt is 10x more eloquent than I’ll ever be.

• Submit a piece for Mira and I’s art show in June!! Deadline is May 9.

• I’ve been making my own granola from this recipe (and kinda taking some liberties.)

• Our self defense class got featured in a Block Club article.

• Picnic Date Bodega is a MUST VISIT in West Town. I’m going to buy every single gift there for the foreseeable future. They also have a clay charm-making workshop next week!

• This perfume tester set. I will find my scent this year.

• Portillos is doing breakfast now. The morning sausage looks great, but those sickos suggest Monster Energy as a substitute for coffee.

Next Issue: I’m going to talk about putting together a half hour of LIVE comedy with a band. Last year Brigid and I split an hour at Cafe Mustache in January and then again last summer at the California Clipper.

Thanks for reading and, as always, don’t tell me about any typos unless they are really bad.