HOW TO GET OFF

Hello!

Another rough week in Chicago as ICE runs around and violently kidnaps people. One thing I’ve been trying to do is speak specifically about what’s going on. In the early days I felt the urge to shut down when I enter a new space. But “taking a break” from the horrors isn’t the goal, it’s learning to bring them with you everywhere you go. That sounds intense, but it actually feels way better to walk into your woodworking class with a “WOW ICE PEPPER SPRAYED A TODDLER” and hear people respond with “AND CPD IS HELPING THEM???” It feels crazy because it is crazy and we shouldn’t be living our lives normally right now. 

I can’t watch someone over Google Meet reference armed federal agents dragging a daycare worker out of her job with a “you know…” and a flailing hand gesture. It’s a lot easier to move forward and figure out the next steps when we’re all on the same page.

How I got off, specifically Amazon

I stopped buying fast fashion years ago. I think I bought a couple swimsuits that look horrible on me from a place called CupShe in 2021. And I stopped using Amazon for personal purchases like clothes and home stuff shortly after. Still, I resisted deleting my account because “how will I buy last minute props and costumes for shows!!!” 

I used Amazon a lot when I got back into comedy after the pandemic. I leaned heavily on buying whatever I needed at that exact moment for earlier Derek Begrudgingly shows like Talladega Nights (March 2024) and Witches of Eastwick (October 2024). Got a fun bit idea with a fake banana? Amazing, banana is on the way. But when we put up our most recent production of Lizzie, I wanted to prioritize planning ahead enough that the production team didn’t have to buy any props or costumes through Amazon.

But I didn’t delete my account, just in case.

Out of the $2,986 we spent on props, costumes, set supplies, food, and space rental for Lizzie McGuire¹ , 16% of that went to Amazon. We bought a few last minute cords/filming stuff, spray paint, and some sewing supplies. 

A little different for Witches of Eastwick. We spent a total of $1,883 on Witches, but almost 46% of that spending was on Amazon purchases alone.

• Our top 3 spending categories for Lizzie were: local businesses² (24%), Amazon (16%), and FedEx (12%).

• For Witches of Eastwick: Amazon (46%), local businesses (16%), Michaels (9%), and thrift stores were a close fourth (8%).

Comparing these shows is hard. A lot changed about how we put up productions in the year between Witches of Eastwick and Lizzie McGuire. A big, kinda boring difference was that Lizzie had a lot more dancing so we had to rent more dance studio space to rehearse. Dance studio rental was a big spend in the local businesses category.

But another big difference was that Witches was just Richie and I organizing stuff and making most of the props and giant set pieces ourselves. Lizzie had a seven-person production team, a more detailed budget proposal, and we had more planning time. There it is. MORE PLANNING. We built Lizzie slowly (having our first production meeting in January 2025) and intentionally, which meant we had time to really think through where our money was going.

The two biggest things that helped me leave Amazon personally were 1) planning more and 2) admitting that I will have less. Instead of rushing out to buy a prop for a half-cooked bit, I’ve had to force myself to think through if it’s worth it to haul my ass to a Village Discount and flip whatever I found into something that will work. If it’s more work and takes more time to do something, I have to really consider if it’s worth my time. This kind of mindset has (not to be corny) changed my life. It’s forced me to create more interesting comedy and art with what I have and build a more sUsT@inable pR@ct!ce. 

Looking back on Lizzie, I know we could have done it without Amazon. I still have a lot of spray paint leftover and I know I could have found those cords elsewhere, I was just being kinda lazyyyy.

Next show (maybe Jennifer’s Body?? Do y’all think that would be fun??)  that percentage will be 0!!! It has to be because I deleted my account!

Not an ad, just a good old fashioned show promo

In the last newsletter I said Mehgan and I were planning a country Christmas show at The Empty Bottle on November 9 which is wrong, I meant December 9, obviously. The ticket link is officially live! It’s going to be so fun. The band from The Lizzie McGuire Movie is back and they are doing some awesome stuff with “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”.

Some recommendations:

• Some more practical examples of how to break up with Amazon.

• Get off Spotify too, what are you waiting for. Just use Tidal or Deezer. Or better yet, join me in buying a CD PLAYER. Then everyone can get you CDs for Christmas!

• I’m helping Kari cook up “Cinematic Choreo” a movie-themed dance class in the new year!! Help us pick the dances with this survey!

• LSMA’s winter clothing drive is this Sunday! I’ll be there smelling accepting your coats and handing out cookies.

• Jon Plester’s new short DogHouse is so good. I’ve watched it like five times now.

• Heavy metal is healing teens on the Blackfeet Nation. Nobody is doing it like High Country News!!!

• Next self defense class is Monday, December 1 @ 7pm.

Next Issue: I have a little treat!!! I am putting together a deranged gift guide. No Amazon links, I swear.

Thanks for reading and, as always, don’t tell me about any typos unless they are really bad.

1  I excluded any $$ we spent paying the cast, band, photographers, etc in this breakdown for both shows because we got a $10,100 grant for Lizzie and people got paid more than previous shows. I’ll break this all down in my Lizzie newsletter later this year.

2  This “local businesses” category is any business that is independently owned in Chicago. This category includes space rentals from dance studios and Color Club (which we rented for dress rehearsals.) I also included Busy Beaver Button Co., where I ordered stickers for Lizzie, and Textile Discount Outlet, a huge gorgeous fabric-filled warehouse in Pilsen. I went back and forth on categorizing Village Discount in the “Local” category, because it is a multi-store family business. Ultimately I put it in the “thrift stores” category because what the hell. Lmk if my methodology is flawed, it probably is.