DEREK <3

Hello!

I’m taking April and May off from shows to kinda just hang the hell out. This weekend, Max was recovering from top surgery so Brigid and I made some gorgeous dinners and I worked on an embroidery project while we all watched The Parent Trap.

But rest assured…even when I’m “taking a break” I am still plotting and scheming. 

• Brigid and I chatted about our next big play: The Lizzie McGuire Movie which is going up at Color Club at the end of September.

• Mirachelle and I are putting up an art show in June at West Town Chamber of Commerce.

• Look out for a formal announcement coming ASAP for a little fundraiser dance class Elena, Kari, and I are cooking up for mid-May.

• And as always, every other Monday from 7-9pm we are learning self defense in a church basement. Next class (which is going to be masks required) is May 21.

RECESSION INDICATOR: I’m also hosting a little hand mending/potluck hang at my place Monday, April 28. Bring supplies (if you have them), a dish to share, and some clothes you have been meaning to fix. We’ll go over some Sashiko basics and other ways to patch up old clothes. All skill levels welcome, just reply to this email if you’d like to come!

Mo told me I’m being superrr random with all the stuff I’m organizing and he’s soooo right.

Time to blast LeAnn Rimes “I Need You” 

Because this newsletter is about my BOYFRIENDDDDD. Derek turned 33 (perfect age for a man) last week. In May, we will have been dating for nine years, which is crazy because it means we started dating when I was 20 and he was 24. 

We realized much farther into our relationship that we had crossed paths at random house parties in Nebraska, but our first real introduction to each other was at a costume party he was hosting. He had already graduated from the film program at the University of Nebraska - Lincoln and lived in a house with what felt like 600 other film and theater guys. I don’t remember much about the house except that it had a giant deck to smoke cigarettes on and it was humid indoors.

I had just transferred back to UNL after one year at a fancy southern arts school that I was devastated to leave, but couldn’t afford. I was desperate for friends so I went with some people I barely knew to a costume party in November and was absolutely striking out trying to talk to the most boring film people I have ever met in my life. I walked up to Derek and asked him why he had dirt all over his face, to which he replied that he was dressed as a Wastelander from Fallout. I let him explain video games to me for a while until I asked him for a cigarette (the coolest way to flirt). We spent the rest of the night talking about emo music until he finally kissed me.

Who we were when we started dating has changed so much and I feel really lucky to have grown into totally new people and still be in love. I spent a lot of my early 20s trying to act like a character in Girls, resisting the pull of planning a future with someone. I was supposed to be focusing on my CAREER and becoming INDEPENDENT. In addition to it being scary to build your life around another person, everything I was reading and consuming (my own parents divorce didn’t help) was pushing me to be wary of finding a partner so young. What was I, some kind of tradwife??

Maybe it was the pandemic or maybe it was when we both had enough money to start going out to eat, but eventually I let myself be happy and start thinking about my future with Derek. And I’m glad I did, because it’s opened up a whole new part of our relationship: building weirdo freaky theater productions together. 

Derek is the funniest person I know and everyone always says that about their partners, but we’ve been together for a hundred years so I’m not blinded by his breathtaking good looks or incredible charm anymore. I steal most of his jokes for my sets and the highest honor I can receive is a full, guttural laugh from him that is usually reserved for a Joe Cappa video or some Magic the Gathering parody card that he is desperately trying to explain to me.

But he’s not only my comedic muse, he is also my favorite collaborator. It’s why I started doing plays in his name.

He knows every piece of technical knowledge related to film/sound/production design that I severely lack. He builds the sound boards for my shows, films them, and helps me troubleshoot set building. He’s such a good painter and he’s watched six billion YouTube videos about how to highlight Warhammer miniatures so any time I’m stuck on why a cardboard prop looks like shit, he’s the first person I go to for help. When I was about to painstakingly paint each individual brick for a Witches of Eastwick backdrop, he suggested just blending the brick colors and painting grout lines over it. We spent hours dissecting how to give the grocery store backdrop depth.

All of his suggestions are simple, almost in a “oh my god why didn’t I think about that” way, but that’s why I love working with him. He’s precise and grounded and I’m always thinking of the most complicated way to spend my time. He’s always ready to tell me that maybe I’m not actually mad about people not RSVPing on Partiful, I’m probably just burnt out. 

And I can’t stress this enough: he drives me everywhere. A big part of that is because I did break both of the side mirrors pulling out of the garage (each separately) on his old car and immediately scraped the front of his new car pulling into the garage, but it’s still very kind that he’s willing to haul my ass (and all my props) around the city.

Aside from being a budget, logistics, artistic, and genius; he’s the kindest person in the world. Whenever he makes something new for dinner and takes a bite first, he doesn’t react or say anything because he wants me to get the full, unbiased experience of taking a first bite without his reaction influencing it. He says that he does it because he’s being selfish and he wants to know my honest reaction, but I think it’s just the sweetest thing in the world.

I have now spent 900+ words blathering about how great my boyfriend is and I didn’t even get into how epic it is to go on a family vacation with Derek because at the end of the night we can lie in bed and gossip about how crazy everyone is. But if I may just wrap this ooey gooey newsletter up by saying that I love organizing DIY theater productions, self-defense classes, art shows, and all those random ass workshops I mentioned above. And I think a big part of that can be credited to Derek. Once I let myself trust another person enough to plan my future with them, it gave me the confidence to trust everyone else around me. 

If this person loves me enough to spend his weeknights trying to strategically load cardboard props and bags of wigs into the back of a Kia Sorento, then I know there will be other people out there who will care enough to help me build a community theater empire.

What I’m loving (almost as much as Derek) right now:

• Edie opens for Lola Kirke tonight 😍

• Audrey’s cute fruit art!

• My 6am flight to NYC tomorrow to see Lillian and Sean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Fuuuuuck should I buy these?

• Tretinoin in the AM and clindamycin phosphate gel in the PM for my acne

• This story about a rogue livestock saboteur

• Block Club Chicago’s investigation into how the city played “not it” for over a decade and let an illegal junkyard flourish in Englewood

• Horse Girl Nation at the Empty Bottle on Thursday, April 24

Next issue: I’m going to dive into how Annaleigh and I built the set for “Dritty’s Dreamland”, a fever dream of a show from the twisted minds of Chris Dritsas and Zach Hacker. See you in two weeks!

Thanks for reading and, as always, don’t tell me about any typos unless they are really bad.